


As the Wind Blows

by Amoridere



Series: Raindrops [3]
Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Diary/Journal, Epistolary, Implied Death from Old Age, Memory Loss, Old Age, Slice of Life, Tearjerker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-21 13:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4831307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoridere/pseuds/Amoridere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A diary story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Remember

Entry I:   **Remember**

 It was so long ago. Long ago that they all passed and I was left alone. Well, not entirely alone, as Shiro's still around, living in the house that she left behind with me. He came to live with me not too long ago and his memory has started to go. Time has not been too nice to us and we hardly look or act the same as we once did, actually, we're nearing the end and we are the last that remain. The last of Honnouji students and club presidents.

 As much as he hates to admit it, he's been slipping, losing his memories. So far, he seems to have forgotten that Satsuki has passed away some time back. Sometimes, I pretend that she hasn't and that she's just gone out for some errands of something, however, I don't always pretend, even telling him gently that Miss Satsuki has passed away. Sometimes, he accepts it.  Him losing his memories is why I've dreaded growing old, as I am not too far behind him.

 My memories too have started to fade and neither do I know what today is. My reasons for writing a diary are thus, as I want to recount what remains of my memories before they fade away.

Funny, the wind's still blows, yet time seemed to have stopped.

\--- 満艦飾  _マコ_

 

 


	2. Dear Lady Satsuki I

Dear Lady Satsuki, 

Mako tells me that you've gone away for awhile to your home in Paris. Anyway, it is awfully lonely and Ryuuko or anyone that isn't Mako hasn't come by. It's very unlike Ryuuko to forget a visit or even a phone and even more so unlike Elite Four of all people to skip out on a phone call or two. Anywho, did I tell I miss you terribly? I really do and I am very much awaiting your safe return back to us from Paris. 

Remember to send us post cards and be safe.

 

Hope you are well, sincerely

\--伊織糸郎

 

 


	3. Memories

Entry II:  Memories

  I feel like I did something bad and, mentally, I can hear Mom chastising and reassuring me about it. Well, I thought it would be best if Shiro wrote letters to Satsuki and I would gather them up and bring them to her grave. Shiro can't make the trip to Satsuki's grave as he has bad joints and he hasn't been feeling very well and he isn't very far from me putting him in a nursing home. I'm in less worse straights than he is, I know, yet I do know I may end up the same.

Anywho, like him, I do miss Satsuki, Ryuuko, Gamagoori-sempai and the others. So much so that I hear their voices in these empty rooms. If my memory is correct or so I hope it is, their untimely deaths did bring us together, especially Mataro and I, after all, he did much to comfort me often told me that how much Ryuuko-Chan's infectious spirit will  be missed. Of course, Mataro isn't here to comfort me anymore.

Actually, he died I think a year ago and Mom and Dad died long before he did. Guts, as old he was, held on for as long as he could. I do miss it when he would bring me flowers, the little yellow ones that looked like sunshine.  He always did bring me flowers, even as got even old and sicker. Funny, really, that he would outlive Mataro and my parents of all things, after all, I had 'im since I was a kid and he was around before Mataro was born. Besides Ryuuko, he was the first friend I've made. 

Sometimes, when I think of Guts and Mataro, I am brought back to the time we stayed with Satsuki while our house was being fumigated. Satsuki has been nothing but gracious and seemed to be upset when all the bugs were gone. I do remember how she often took the time out cook us breakfast and walk the dog, anything she could to make us comfortable. When we left, she came all the way to stay with us for awhile. Mom remarked that she was a sweet. 

Of course, that makes me miss her more, just as much as I do Ryuuko. I remember loads of things about Ryuuko. Like when we met and I tried to give her a hug. When she spun me around and how much that memory makes me laugh. I remember when she did give me a hug and how much we hung out, like that one time Satsuki took us Europe and she had to pee like real, real, real bad and nowhere to pee, so she peed in the fountain. That was hilarious. I also remember how she saved the world and she told me that gave me to the right to say, "Suck it, asswipes." when people doubt and that time she didn't get mad when I ate her ice-cream. I especially remembered when I got one last hug from her before she moved in with her sister.

Honestly, after she had died, I'm glad I can still remember that. Even though I am not too sure if Ryuuko knew she was going to die or not, I'm glad she gave me a hug, telling me that she loved me before she passed. Of course, that was the last time I had seen her before the day she passed away. She left us knowing that she loved us and I take comfort in that. Wherever she is, on the other side, I know she waits. She and Satsuki both wait for us.

I suppose I should write about the memories of my parents. In all honesty, I do miss Dad's dark jokes and Mom's advice. Dad always knew how to make us laugh and Mom always knew what to say, especially in the worst of times. Remembering that makes me wish that she was still here to give me advice, especially on how to deal with Shiro and his slipping. I also wish she was here to make her famous croquettes. Her croquettes and Dad's jokes always did cheer me up in times like this.

Well, enough reminiscing, I have to go check on Shiro

\---  _満艦飾 マコ_

 


	4. Dear Lady Satsuki II

Dear Lady Satsuki,

I do miss you and I am wondering when you are coming home. I also would like if if you wrote back. Anywho, regrettably, I must inform you that I have not been feeling well and that my correspondence will be spotty over the course of time. I suppose I should tell you about little events. Autumn has come and the leaves look beautiful.  Sometimes, the leaves swirling around reminds of the time you were shy, yet you wanted to dance, so you danced by yourself, pretending that someone was dancing with you. I barely remember that, however,  it was nice to see you happy  and content, even if the fact that you danced alone in front of all those spectators people thought to be funny.

 

Always in my thoughts,

\--伊織糸郎

 


	5. Illness

**Music Playing** : _"[Beyond Dreams](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-a8GnRsWg4)"_ by Akatsuki Records.

* * *

 

Entry III: **I** **llness**

Shiro doesn't seem to be getting better and I fear he may have to go into the hospital. I do not like that, not one bit, as I fear I will become alone again. Ryuuko, Miss Satsuki, Mom, Dad, Mataro, Gamagoori-sempai, Houka, Uzu,  and Nonon have already passed on and I really don't have anyone left, as my  grandchildren, and great-grandchildren hardly ever come around much, not enough to visit and they live rather far from me. If Shiro passes, then I'll truly be alone until my memories fade like his and I'd have to be in a nursing home.

I truly will be the last of Honnouji students and the last of club presidents.

\---Mako 

 


	6. Dear Lady Satsuki III

Dear Lady Satsuki,

I'm sorry to have mailed you so late and at the wrong time. However, recently, I was put in the hospital and they were not  really keen on giving me paper. Thank heavens for that delightful Mako, who managed to bring them around. Dreadful that I had to mail this in the winter and we all know how the mail works in the winter. I hope this hasn't gotten to you late.

In all fairness, I am happy about how energetic and dutiful Mako can be but I do worry about her mailing letters in the winter, especially since the post office is a long ways away and she suffers from arthritis in her knees. A fall on the ice could oft cause more than injury with people our age, yet, she tells me she'll be fine. She hasn't fallen but I do not like putting her through these sorts of tasks.

That's all for now

\----伊織糸郎 


	7. Dreams

Entry IV **: Dreams**

Ever since Shiro fell ill and  was put in the hospital, I had been having  these weird dreams. I know not of what they mean, however, I do think they are interesting. I suppose, it do a certain bit of justice to write down what dreams came to be me in my sleep and as so not to forget when them when my memories fade. This'll be interesting, I know, yet I want to gather up as much memories I can in my writings and musings so I'll have something to remind someone of who I was once and not some senile old woman who just sits around and gives blank stares and talks to people that aren't there.

The first dream I had was one of Ryuuko  and she was standing in field of my favorite flowers, the kind Guts used to bring me. She was reaching her hand towards me, as if to call me come join her in that field of yellow flowers. The dream after it had Satsuki there, as well, she too beckoning me join them. It should be worth noting that both and the field seemed to be so far away, yet it felt so close. One by one they were joined by the others, my parents, Guts, Mataro, and all of those I had known and loved.

Shiro remained absent from my dreams with the field of yellow flowers for a time until I had one dream where I awoke and found him standing by my bedside, looking much younger than what he is now (I don't really remember how old he is but I think he's probably around 85 if not 94). He told me  _"Thank you, Mako-sama."_  before fading away, leaving behind a sewing needle with a yellow  flower threaded through the hole. _  
_

I woke up crying from those dreams, as it would be some time before I join Ryuuko and the others and that Shiro didn't seem to have much long to live. As I've written before, if Shiro goes, then I'll truly be alone and the realization of it all breaks my heart, as I will have lost something to cling to. 

 

\--- 満艦飾 マコ


	8. Dear Mako

Dear Mako,

Mako, if you are reading this, then it means that I have passed away. Please, Lady Mako, no tears, you'll smudge my best writing, after all, I did save my best handwriting for you. I am writing this to tell you thank you and about what a wonderful friend you've been through all these years. Regrettably, I must leave you behind but I know we'll see you again.

You've made me quite happy in my last years and you've done a lovely job in helping me remember and allowing me to be at peace. Now, now, we all knew this was coming but thank you for looking after me and bringing Lady Satsuki my letters.

For all you've done, I do wish I could have given or done something for you in return, besides curing your loneliness for a spell, as the wind blows.

I do wish I had much more to say, really, I do but I haven't.

Thanks for everything, Mako

\-----伊織糸郎  



	9. Alone

Entry IV: Alone

Shiro passed away the other day, leaving me alone. Alone in this large house, with photographs, my diary, and fading memories. Leaving me the last of Honnouji.

I suppose could find comfort in that he died remembering. He finally remembered that Satsuki had passed away those years ago, however, while that was the case, he was believably heartbroken but relieved that he was able to remember her. I guess I could find comfort in that he died peacefully, with his memories

While I could find comfort in those things, I am still alone. From the letter he left me, I knew he very much didn't like the idea of leaving me behind.

Apparently, Mako was good friend.

\--- 満艦飾 マコ


	10. Sunshine

Entry V: The Sunshine

I had a rather strange dream. A dream unlike my dreams of the others in fields of yellow flowers or the dream of a younger Shiro standing by my bedside. It was a dream where I was in this dark and foggy place and then there was a voice that said "Go towards the sunshine." Now, I did find that strange, so I started to walk until I saw the sunshine, in which case, I went towards it and found my hand being taken by someone else's.

I remember not much else, however, the dream seemed like a fortelling of what was to come. Oddly it seemed like a happy dream full of hope. Mako is most confused

\--- 満艦飾 マコ


	11. Reclaiming Before its Lost

Entry VI: **Reclaiming Before its Lost**

I remember Miss Satsuki telling me "To love or to treasure something is to realize it can be lost and cannot be regained." or so I think that is what she said. Like Shiro, my memories are starting to fade even more and my health is also going downhill. With that being the case, I suppose it be much more fitting to write down what more I remember, writing down what didn't fade away.

I remember when I had got Guts. I was roughly four years old and he was just a pup.He was a little pup and, besides Ryuuko-chan, he was my first friend and he followed me everywhere. I don't remember much else after that, just the fact that he was as loyas as a dog would be and that he was a pretty brainy dog.

I also remember when Mataro was born and how, while I didn't like him at first, I loved him ever so. I also remembered how he kicked my ass in checkers (or was it chess) and when he went through some trouble to steal something he thought would cheer me up. Even as he died, he fought greatly too cheer me up and reassured me that he'd see me again. After that, I had my first spring without him, of course, to make it worse, he was born in the spring, yet he died in the fall.

Another memory I have was sitting with Satsuki, who was terminally ill. It was often quiet, if I remember, so I would sing or hum and, when I stopped, she would put her hand on my shoulder. Shortly before she died, she put her arm around me and pulled me closer, as if to hug. That was the last photo I took with her.

I also remember sitting with Ryuuko-chan about a few months before she passed away. She was cheering me up about something that happened that day, although, I, for the like of me, cannot remember what it was she was cheering about but she was trying to so hard at it. As I write, I can feel myself seething and tears rolling down my cheeks because of all the things I had to lose memory of why did it have to a moment like that. She was cheering me up and yet I don't remember much the incident surrounding it. Most of that memory has faded and the rest will be gone, too. Curse this old age!

Another memory I have, however, faded, is sitting with Aikurou and talking about how I wasn't allowed to go on the field trip and the fact that I had got in trouble for talking to him afterwards. Don't remember much of what happened afterwards.

The final memories of my parents I have was when I hugged them last. I hugged my father about a few days before he passed. He wasn't doing so nice, then, and, yet, my hug seemed to have gave him some bit of strength, however, it wasn't enough for him to delay death afterwards. Mom lived a little while after that but I don't remember how long. The last time I had hugged her was when she was on her deathbed, as she quietly faded away. Like Satsuki and Mataro, they both died on sunny days.

I don't like to talk about death much but I do remember the day that Ryuuko-chan died. She died on a rainy day and, before, she was taken to the hospital, she took the time to call us and tell us that she loved us and that she was saying goodbye. I remember how her phone call sent up a red flag and I called the others, saying, "We have to go Satsuki's house and we have to go now!" She died peacefully, as we held her hand.

I also remember it when Satsuki died. Like I said, it was a sunny day. A quiet sunny day. She seemed to have been happy for once, as she had been mostly depressed. She thank us all for our time and told us good night and good luck before closing her eyes, smiling, and passing away. Like Ryuuko, she died peacefully. I als remembered how she was reunited with her sister in death, watching over us forever

My memories are making me misty-eyed.

\--- 満艦飾 マコ


	12. The End

**Music Playing** : [Anma](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD0wRvb7pmo) _[(Piano cover)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD0wRvb7pmo)_  by Masashi Yamanaka

* * *

  **Entry VII: The End**

It had been some time since I've last written and so much has happened since. So much to recount and yet so little time to write. I am nearing the end, yes, and I am currently in the hospital, writing to the sound of birds tweeting and as the wind blows.

Earlier it was storming, I suppose I should note, yet, the storm's gone and now its just quiet. That's the funny thing about storms. First, they're all loud and full of total chaos and then its all quiet and peaceful again. That's nice. I suppose I could go on and on about the storms and the calms after the storms but my time is short and, frankly, the storms and chaos  in my life had calmed and there remains the peace and sunshine.  Ah, the wind is blowing, blowing against the blossoms of the trees, scattering the petals. I feel calm, as though I am floating on the breeze, like a blossom to the ground. 

There was a storm and now there is calm and that is a simple matter. 

Today is nice and I suppose I should note that my family picked a nice time to visit. I only lament that I couldn't have made amends with them sooner. They'll be coming soon, so I know I must write this quickly.

For anyone reading, I would like you all to know that I have lived a very long and good life. I love you all, really I do, and the show must go on. Please continue it, for me.

Goodbye. 

Sincerely,

\--- 満艦飾 マコ

* * *

“The plants and flowers  
I raised about my hut  
I now surrender  
To the will  
Of the wind” 

\---- **Ryokan**


End file.
